Saturday, November 06, 2004

Chicken huntin'


I went to the market today. I always stop by the chicken stand. The live chicken stand. I used to work a stall at Soulard selling fair trade coffee with my old roommate. I took a particular interest every week and talk to Scott, the chicken guy. He told me all about the chickens. Mostly immigrants buy the chickens. It is much fresher to eat a chicken that you slaughter. Today, a Bosnian lady and her husband were haggling over a chicken. They wanted to pay three dollars for the chicken. The chicken was for sale for five dollars. Scott is pretty cool with all the different people that buy chickens from him.

I bought a raccoon from Scott a couple years ago. It was trapped and he was selling possum, coon, beaver and other varmints. I cooked it up with some friends. All sorts of people sent me recipes and got quite excited. I had a dinner party and all types of curious carnivores showed up to sample the country style dinner. I had a bit of a culture shock about all of this, but Scott told me he loved coon, and he had been eating them since he was a kid. He told me that I might have to adjust to the taste. I figured it would be like the first time trying something to eat when I was a kid. I was a picky kid. Ridiculously picky. I am not picky anymore. I like to eat all sorts of things. I love to eat new and interesting foods. I wanted to break myself of cultural barriers and this silly food phobia.

I had good intentions. I was really looking forward to coon. I had a recipe from my chum Gate's family and Goddard helped in the prep. We had such good intentions. The odor was the first warning. We all sat around the table like civilized people to carve up the coon. Everyone got up and crowded around to see us hack away at this critter. We all wanted a good look. The coon was gamey. Very very very very gamey. I tried. I really really tried hard. It was awful. Pretty much everyone tried it. I tried it again. Still awful. It wound up stinking up the house something fierce.

Today I was looking at the chickens again. Now that I got the Panda AC, I figured that this would be a good time to get one. We need a mascot and until I can figure out how to smuggle in a panda bear I think a chicken will do. I talked to Scott about this. I got a girl chicken. That shouldn't be too loud. I can have the fighters chase the chicken around. Scott lent me a cage. I went down to the pet store and bought some cracked corn. I am going to take him to the gym tomorrow. That is where she will stay. I put her outside in the front yard until tomorrow. She wound up running up and down Macklind a bit when I transferred her into the larger cage. I am getting a roof put on the house and the roofers helped me catch her. Roberto is putting the roof on the house and he was shaking his head. He told me "I didn't say anything about the name Panda, now you get a chicken. You need to get a rooster if you are going to bring it to the boxing gym. We need a fighting cock." I guess a Panda is kind of a wimpy mascot. A vegerarian cutesy asian bear. I still like it though.

I need to figure out a name for the chicken. I think I will let the kids name her. I think we will have a great pre-fight dinner when we have our next bouts.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

*************FROM THE HOME OFFICE OF PETA**************
PETA still strongly opposes the roasting of lamb, racoon, veal and dolphin. We do, however, applaude you for saving the chicken's life from the Bosnian savages. Wake up people. This isn't "Lord of the Flies." Up with Soy!!!

Bad I.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

gross, steve.

10:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope the chicken pokes one of those kids' eyes out and their parents sue you. Torturing animals is not funny. Teaching young people that it is doesn't surprise me with you.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Steven Fitzpatrick Smith said...

You hope that some kid gets his eye poked out? ????? It had been put up on the chopping block at the market because it was past its prime and it stopped laying eggs. But now the chicken got so comfortable at the gym it started laying eggs again. I hope the chicken doesn't poke out anyone's eyes.

10:57 PM  

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