Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Historic channel 5 streetfights

Back in 1988 I had just turned fifteen when the Presidential primaries started. I was watching some television commercials and one spot previewed the channel 5 local news broadcast.

"Democratic Presidential ticket hopefuls Richard Gephardt and Paul Simon get into an old-fashioned streetfight in rural Illinois."

What? Huh? I had to know about this. Hot local news! But the news didn't start for about a half hour. There was no way to find out about this to verify the information. This was well before the days of the internets. I had to wait until 10 to find out about this streetfight.

During the time waiting for the newscast my mind began to race. I asked my Ma what she thought happened. She said it didn't sound right. I then imagined a video of a bow tied Simon decking smiling Gephardt. This is front page stuff. I couldn't wait.

So I patiently sat through televsion. This wasn't the first story. Odd. But there was a story about Simon and Gephardt after that. I watched in great anticipation. And then the story ended. All they did was debate. No fighting. No fists. No shoving. Huh? I watched all the way up to the weather thinking they may inform me of the fracas. Street fight does not equal lively debate. The adjective term old fashioned does not change the meaning. The only thing that old-fashioned might change in meaning is an old Queensbury rules brawl with a lot cigars, spitting and wagering. And that would have been a great fight to watch.

So I got a phone book, got the number and called up channel 5. I was a little junior town talker. The phone operator took my comments and passed them right along or threw them away or something. I checked the paper the next morning to see if there may have been something. Nothing. Just a debate, and it didn't even appear above the fold.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


You're over thirty. You know what the kids say, "never trust anyone over thirty!".


5:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And dare I say, somewhat of a nerd.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Diabetoboy said...

I liked politics when I was young also. When I was 5, I watched the news and drank coffee shots from creamer tubs that my parents gave me. I was really pulling for Dukakis.

On a side note, they should make a Political Streetfighter video game. I know they had Bush v. Kerry boxing on cellphones, but take that to the next level. Lincoln would have been a freak!

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Steven Fitzpatrick Smith said...

I am an old man. I behave like a crazy old man. And a nerd. But people who were born in the 50s and 60s are ancient dinosaur baby boomers who remember relics like howdy doody, newspapers, short pants and radio broadcasts. They are now going to advantage of all those discounts for seniors and all line up at the cafeteria.

Don't trust anyone over thirty, that is for sure. Don't trust me. I don't know why people ever have.

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I was born in the fities - barely -but I never watched Howdy Doody.

But I do remember black and white TV.

We didn't get a color TV until after I was out of high school. All of our neighbors had them, but we did.

But we did have a roof over our heads and meals on the table.

It was an early step in learning not to be self-obsessed.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Steven Fitzpatrick Smith said...

It was humbling yesterday when I was telling Shit in the Face a story about when I was in HS, and that I had graduated in 91. He was born in 89. Ouce.

"Dude, I didn't even go to high school until 2001, I mean, uh...when was that?" He went in 2003. Time is a bit hazy for the young man.

I am old.

9:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You need to slow down.

If you're calling yourself old at thirty, what does it make you at forty...fifty...sixty...or more?

My grandpa lived to be 95.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Steven Fitzpatrick Smith said...

Is everyone still talking about old people? What is the big deal about old people? That was a couple of posts ago. I guess people are sensitive for being old people.

Old people are such a pain in the ass. Geez. Read the above post to see what I thought of old people when I was younger. They are a pain in the ass.

3:29 AM  

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